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SATIREAugust 20, 2026
#LLMs#StandupOps#Excuses

Large Language Models for Automated Excuse Generation

AUTHORS: Asad Ali, LarpinTech AI Group
PDF format in preparation (peer-review pending)

ABSTRACT

Fine-tuning transformer architectures on 14 years of corporate standup transcripts to optimize believable blocker rationales under severe latency constraints.

Draft in progress

Full empirical methodology, telemetry datasets, and tea-leaf variance curves are currently undergoing peer review by our WhatsApp group.